This information has been made available, to do one thing and one thing only – to inform and demystify issues concerning death and dying so that there is clearer understanding.
MYTHS & UNTOLD INFORMATION ABOUT FUNERAL SERVICE
I created this post to dispel some ideas I've heard out there, to empower people with knowledge, in hopes of making the inevitable a little more understandable. Most humbly... Here we go:
URNS: Funeral homes have urns, or can obtain urns, that range in price from approximately $200 to $5,000. Metal urns, wooden urns, stone urns, composite urns – there is no shortage to choose from. Urns hold remains from a cremation or aquamation and lend a certain dignity to a funeral service if you want the remains present at the service. What folks often don't know is that they don't necessarily NEED one. It is perfectly acceptable to bury remains in the receptacle they come back from the crematorium or aquamation site in. There is only one reason why an urn becomes a necessity – and that is when remains are being placed in a glass fronted niche in a Columbarium. A Columbarium is an above ground structure in a cemetery (rather than a ground burial) that holds urns filled with remains. Usually glass front niches are in separate buildings within the cemetery. Another option would be to bring a receptacle to the funeral home that can be filled with the remains. I've put people in some interesting objects - a lady (the family baker) in the family cookie jar, a fireman in a fire extinguisher, a husband and wife who worked on a naval vessel into an empty shell! These objects can often be very personal to a family - objects that hold tremendous meaning. People should know that this is an option. Likewise, if someone wants to keep cremated remains at home in a place of honour, an urn or family heirloom (receptacle) is the way to go. VAULTS: Sometimes, when someone is buried in a cemetery, you'll see the casket or the urn go into what's called a “vault." The vault is an outer protection for the casket/urn. In some cases, and in some areas in a cemetery, a vault is a requirement due to the ground in the location where the burial is happening. In some areas the ground can be more compromised than in other sections and so a vault is needed. Most often, it is not a necessity. An “urn vault" is almost never needed, but at a cemetery service, the urn vault provides space around the urn itself to place personal items into, such as notes and cards, jewellery, family keepsakes that hold meaning to the family or the deceased. NEWSPAPER NOTICES: Obituaries are always a good thing. They provide the general public information that someone has died and, indeed, I have had many a call from people who were informed through an obituary that a friend or colleague or even family member passed on. The placing of an obituary in a newspaper is not required. Some folks I've served have been under the impression that it MUST be done! It doesn't. On funeral home websites the obituary is free of charge and often that is enough, depending upon the circumstances surrounding someone's life. There could be people in another city that you want to make aware through the local paper. The main reason some people do not place a notice in the paper is because the deceased was well on in age; all those who knew them have passed on already and there either will be no public service or the service will be through invitation only. That said – an obituary SOMEWHERE is a good idea.
CREMATED / AQUAMATED REMAINS: The term “ashes" for cremated or aquamated remains is not accurate. “Ashes" implies the type of result that you would get from a wood fire - remains that can be blown away easily in the wind. Not so. Remains from a fire cremation or water aquamation are like coarse sand – somewhat powdery, but mostly granular. The remains from a cremation are light beige/grey in colour. The remains from an aquamation are white and about 15-20% more, as aquamation is a gentler process and does not leave an environmental footprint like cremation or body burial. Both remains are comprised of our bones. That is all. The scattering of remains is not illegal. There are certain rules that are supposed to be observed, but in general, cremated/aquamated remains are allowed to be scattered on Crown Land but not private property. They may also be scattered in water.
AQUAMATION: The process of aquamation is NOT a process whereby the body of the deceased is placed into a cylinder and doused in acid! It mimics what happens when someone is buried in the ground. It is the natural occurring Alkali in the soil that breaks down organic matter and, of course, we are organic. aquamation is a speeded up process of this natural change. The body is placed in water (about 95%) and Alkali is added (about 5%). The process is gentler, environmentally friendly and takes longer than fire cremation.
THE BODY: In my more than seventeen years of funeral service to the public, there have been some disturbing stories that have come back to me regarding things that have “happened" to the body of a decedent. All myths and conjecture. In short - here are the myths that I will dispel now:
There are NEVER organs removed from a body by a funeral director. Any organs that were harvested were done so by a medical physician and with the permission of the family or the deceased. / There are NEVER any limbs adjusted, in any way, that would damage the integrity of the human body. If an individual does not fit into a regular sized casket, the funeral home will order an oversized casket. / While a human body goes through specific changes after a death occurs, there is NEVER a severe “reflex" that would have the deceased “sit up" or “animate" in any way. / Embalming of a body is done as a temporary disinfection and preservation of the body FOR VIEWING PURPOSES. Embalming is NOT a requirement, although, as The James A. Rutherford FH does and probably most funeral homes do - if the body is not embalmed and a visitation or service is desired with the body present, the casket will NOT be opened at any time. / In the province of Ontario, it is mandatory that the body be taken to the crematorium in a safe and rigid container. It is illegal to have a human body cremated outside of being in a casket or cremation container.
RENTAL CASKET: Most funeral homes will have a “rental" casket in which there is an insert of another (often pine) wooden box, specifically for a cremation to be carried out AFTER a funeral service has taken place. When the service is complete, and after guests have left, the insert can be removed with the deceased in it and THAT is what goes to the crematorium. The Rental casket CAN cost as much as a mid-grade purchased casket; however, rental caskets are usually easy ways to have a very solid and much more expensive casket at a service, without purchasing the casket outright. With many funeral homes, the casket is used a specific number of times, before it actually goes to the crematorium with a decedent in it. You CAN get very lovely caskets at the cost of a rental casket.
I hope this has been of some value to you. Be good to yourselves.
This information has been made available, to do one thing and one thing only – to inform and demystify issues concerning death and dying so that there is clearer understanding.
