There is a precious commodity out there in the wide world, and depending upon our outlook, how much “news" we watch, the world in which we work and play - it is either a rarity or in abundance. Here is the definition of what we are talking about. See if you know what the word is.
“The quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness. The state of being whole and undivided. Internal consistency or lack of corruption."
OK - the word is “integrity." Integrity is like glue - it holds us together in assurance that we will act in the ways mentioned above to the bitter end. Why? Because we KNOW it is who we are. If we lost integrity, we lost everything! It used to be based upon a handshake! That handshake was our word! If we broke it, we'd be disgraced by others perhaps, but more importantly we'd feel ourselves disgraced. That was carried out to extreme, in the old feudal Japanese Samurai class system, through “Harakiri", a form of ritual suicide to restore honour for those that dis-honoured themselves or their families.
I certainly do not endorse that extreme act, but what on earth has happened out there with that most honest and trustworthy trait called integrity!? People say one thing, then do another; say they stand up for this cause, but only if this and this criterion is met. What happened to the strength of our conviction? I can only assume that many a folk have never taken stock of who they truly are and what they truly believe - and cementing that foundation upon which they stand, takes a lifetime of learning about the world around us and us in it – certainly not how much money we can get out of the deal or what advantage we might gain. It actually has everything to do with “being the example," - that oft heard phrase made famous by Mahatma Gandhi.
Remember the all-important words of the definition: honest / moral uprightness / being whole and undivided / lack of corruption. Based upon that definition, integrity should keep us humans on the compassionate path simply through having a moral compass to guide us.
When I was an idealist and bent on changing the world in some big and grand way, my dad, quite astutely and inarguably, pointed out something to my long-haired, earring wearing, all-loving self that has stayed with me and spoken its truth over and over again. “In order to change the system, you must be IN the system." Years later, when I was studying the degenerate behaviour of human beings and the history of slavery on this continent, I read something that reminded me of that wisdom. “Revolutions of might, ultimately don't work, because you haven't changed the minds of the masses and there will always be another uprising."
On a much smaller scale - fade into last week Tuesday morning. I was going to do some work in the storage room at the funeral home. With no appointments, I dressed in my “street" clothes. Jeans, long-sleeve T-shirt, my comfortable Doc-Marten boots. As I was putting on those shoes, I was thinking, this is not really funeral director attire. I may have to explain my informal appearance. And it struck me - I'm already in the system! And perhaps, in some small way, changing it. Respect through how one dresses at a service is one thing, but daily respect for, compassion for, and most importantly, integrity for yourself, DOES NOT CHANGE! Especially through a change of clothing! In the short video I placed on our home page website I said, we are a “forward thinking funeral home." Indeed. Whether some consider it inappropriate or not, in a behavioral way, I would rather be a friend, a neighbour, another human being who will die, like you...and still a knowledgeable professional, than a “funeral director" with all the sometimes-stiff formalities that title imbues.
It's not rocket-science, what funeral director's do. Nor is it a “show." It's a caring and a privilege that I know how to carry out. It's not morose, formal, dressed-up in some obligatory-way-of-doing-things, or dictated by anything other than the wishes of those who enter the door. Bottom line – change is good. Just make it for the better. And in funeral service, the definition of BETTER is “the most comfortable" to those we serve.
THE TINY RANT, THE WISDOM & THE SHOES
