It's one of those things that most people mean to prepare, but keep putting off. In the big scheme of things and for the sake of those you love – it is easy to do and not an exorbitant cost.
Who should be executor? - In the “funeral" end of things it is the executor of a will that would be the one listened to in an arrangement office or living room or kitchen. Indeed the funeral director would ask if there is a will in place, and if the one listed as executor is unable to make the funeral arrangements, it is absolutely fine with the funeral home if someone is designated by that executor. Keep in mind though that we are talking about the funeral arrangements and not the government paperwork afterward. On the Proof of Death certificates issued by the funeral home the executor will still be the one listed and will still have control.
I once sat down with a lovely lady and her two children whose husband/father had died and another gentleman present, who was a family friend and the executor of the estate. He had been the best friend of the deceased his entire life and was “one-of-the-family." Luckily, they were all on the same page, because law would stipulate that the funeral home would be listening to that gentleman and not necessarily the grieving wife. So choose your executor carefully.
In addition, if your will states that there are two equal executors because you “didn't want one of your children left out," there are some institutions that will want both executors present when taking care of affairs. If both cannot be present it is sometimes best if one executor writes a generic letter that states he/she is giving permission to the other to handle what needs to be handled.
Another good idea. - Even better than simply having a will, it is a good idea to have your name on the bank account of your ailing mother or father or friend if they are willing to do so -so that the account is equally in your name as it is in theirs. The account should, therefore, not be frozen as I've heard it sometimes is, after someone dies, particularly if you are an equal account holder taking care of the deceased's financial affairs. It is easily the most streamlined way to access funds that are needed for that person's care. Again, and for obvious reasons, you should absolutely trust the person you are allowing access to your account.
What's in a Will? - Finally, while it's fine to put your wishes of disposition in a will, do not leave it at that. Too often wills are not looked at until after things are said and done. Wills are meant for property and finances, not for funeral wishes. Best to make a pre-arrangement or a pre-discussion if you want your wishes known.
Some essential information about Wills
